Buddhist Friendship Project

What is this? briefly: Live friendship with strangers via video/chat/voice.  details:  read the welcome message .  Note: Times are in Los Angeles / Pacific Time! (read more to see the calendar)

Welcome to the Buddhist Friendship Project. Started in 2020. This is participatory, direct action to exercise our friendship muscles. It's like Planet Fitness for your emotional well being. WARNING: If you are having an immediate crisis (for example, a panic attack, immense grief, or a major depressive episode), consider a 5-40 minute free and confidential chat with Crisis Text Line. This is a group of people who get together to be friendly in a Buddhist way . Specifically, we practice being friendly with anyone and everyone who comes here. We do it with simple, short friendship games .  It's based on unconditional Goodwill. It doesn't matter what you look like, how much money you have, how you voted, or what you believe in. If you want to, you can just watch for months to see what it's all about. It's also safer and easier than real life because it is all online. We use video, audio, and chat technologies. It is confidential and mostly anonymous . The two

I see you and support you. If you are like me and my hyper-logical friends, this statement looks weird. What do you mean by support them? What if they have stupid or wrong beliefs? What if they are doing the exact things that are causing their own issues. Short answer: You see them as a human being, here in the Buddhist Friend Project, trying to get some safety via goodwill. And you support them with goodwill, a wish that they ultimately get more ease and happiness and wisdom. Your "support" of their being a fellow human doesn't mean you are condoning (or disagreeing) with their action. It's not about you. It's not about you. You are just giving them goodwill. That is the support. As a fellow human, you are standing far, far away from them (via the internet) but saying, "I'm rooting for you for things to go well for you." It's also not about your opinion of what they are doing. Half the time, they already have heard your opinion an

It seems almost silly how simple it is, but it's easy to miss: goodwill starts by allowing the other person to be how they are. This is not always easy. Short version: Just practice for the 10 or 30 minutes to give people permission to feel how they feel. Giving them permission doesn't mean agreeing or disagreeing with them. It just says, "This is happening and it is what it is." Why permission matters? We are saying to each other, you can feel whatever you feel.  It's okay and normal. Strong or wounded, we accept you as you are. In particular, we don't need you to feel a certain way to fit in with society or with how we want you to be.  The alternative is to not give others permission to feel what they feel. I sum it up like this... "We should never get angry at a person for having allergies." They didn't choose to have allergies. It just happened. That's how they were built or how they are right now. So, to be angry or not ac

We said this is "confidential and mostly anonymous." What does that mean? This is "confidential" in the sense that we only store information you give us and don't share or sell it to anyone. This is "mostly anonymous" because usually nobody can determine who you are. But there are some exceptions. If your mom or best friend were to login, they might be able to recognize you via your voice or video.  In that way, it's not anonymous. So, here are some tips. TIP: Don't use your real name. TIP: Use a secondary email address if you register on Discord or another service. TIP: If you are really paranoid, don't use audio or video. TIP: If you do use audio or video, consider using sunglasses, wearing a hat, or muffle your voice. TIP: You can wait and see who else is present before turning on your audio/video in Zoom or audio on Discord. Vagueness can also help Furthermore, we mostly talk about feelings, not about specific details of w

Buddhist Friendship Explained So, you probably clicked on the link about the Buddhist way of friendship. First, and most importantly, this is not particularly* religious. Think of it more as cultural or philosophical. CULTURAL: Think of this as how Buddhists tend to treat others, just like how Italians interact or Japanese interact. PHILOSOPHICAL: Mark Twain or Aristotle or Leonardo da Vinci had ideas about good friendship. The Buddha is just another person who had opinions about good friendship. About 2600 years ago, the historical Buddha was heard to have said: 1. He gives what is beautiful, hard to give, 2. does what is hard to do, 3. endures painful, ill-spoken words.  4. His secrets he tells you,  5. your secrets he keeps.  6. When misfortunes strike, he doesn't abandon you; 7. when you're down & out, doesn't look down on you. A person in whom these traits are found, is a friend to be cultivated by anyone wanting a friend. source: 

Scheduling / Attend A Session / Calendar Right now, the Buddhist Friendship Project is in experimental (new, alpha) mode from Jan-Feb2020. How to participate below.