3Feelings, a simple friendship game
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Game: 3Feelings
How Played?: Played via text, messenger, email, in person or any medium. Can be fast (over in 3 minutes) or slow (smoldering for months and years)
Rules/Description:
We take turns sharing 3 feelings and then the other person simply says, "I see you and support you." Optionally, they can say, "I understand those feelings, too". And then they say 3 feelings. It's just called 3Feelings. That's it. Simple. You can pick if you or I go first.
example:
Arnie: Sometimes I feel lost. Sometimes I feel special. Sometimes I feel like the world is out to get me.
Barbara: I see you and support you. I understand those feelings.
(1 minute or 1 breath or 4 days later or anytime)
Barbara: I feel happy. I feel cautious. I feel alone.
Arnie: I understand those feelings, too. I see you and support you.
TIPS:
* people can go twice or more in a row for sharing.
* you can say a bit more in response.
* Try not to veer into "explaining" or "relitigating" feelings. That is, stick to the basic feeling that is part of the human experience. GOOD: "I feel pressure from family." NOTSOGOOD: "I am frustrated that my mom keeps nagging me about eating better when she herself isn't very healthy. She is such a hypocrite." You can say those things, but just not part of this game.
* Try not to say "I agree" or any of the close relatives like, "that's a good one". The reason is that if you agree sometimes but not others, then people feel unheard and unseen when you sometimes *don't* say it. The aim is for universal and unconditional goodwill. If you don't think you can say it 99%+ of the time, don't say it.
* Use your judgement. Allow people's mistakes or rule breaks. Just go back to the basic game if you feel things have wandered. Offer nudges to keep 3Feelings simple, wholesome, and filled with universal goodwill.
How Played?: Played via text, messenger, email, in person or any medium. Can be fast (over in 3 minutes) or slow (smoldering for months and years)
Rules/Description:
We take turns sharing 3 feelings and then the other person simply says, "I see you and support you." Optionally, they can say, "I understand those feelings, too". And then they say 3 feelings. It's just called 3Feelings. That's it. Simple. You can pick if you or I go first.
example:
Arnie: Sometimes I feel lost. Sometimes I feel special. Sometimes I feel like the world is out to get me.
Barbara: I see you and support you. I understand those feelings.
(1 minute or 1 breath or 4 days later or anytime)
Barbara: I feel happy. I feel cautious. I feel alone.
Arnie: I understand those feelings, too. I see you and support you.
TIPS:
* people can go twice or more in a row for sharing.
* you can say a bit more in response.
* Try not to veer into "explaining" or "relitigating" feelings. That is, stick to the basic feeling that is part of the human experience. GOOD: "I feel pressure from family." NOTSOGOOD: "I am frustrated that my mom keeps nagging me about eating better when she herself isn't very healthy. She is such a hypocrite." You can say those things, but just not part of this game.
* Try not to say "I agree" or any of the close relatives like, "that's a good one". The reason is that if you agree sometimes but not others, then people feel unheard and unseen when you sometimes *don't* say it. The aim is for universal and unconditional goodwill. If you don't think you can say it 99%+ of the time, don't say it.
* Use your judgement. Allow people's mistakes or rule breaks. Just go back to the basic game if you feel things have wandered. Offer nudges to keep 3Feelings simple, wholesome, and filled with universal goodwill.
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